Tuesday's Blog
IMPORTANT WARNING!
Your ChatGPT privacy settings
I want to keep my ChatGPT conversations private and prevent new conversations from being used to improve OpenAI’s models. On my iPhone or iPad, I can open the sidebar, tap my profile icon, go to Settings → Data Controls, and switch off
“Improve the model for everyone.”
This setting applies to my account across my devices. My existing chats will still appear in my history; turning the setting off does not delete them.
For a conversation I don’t want saved in my history, I can start a Temporary Chat. Temporary Chats aren’t used to improve OpenAI’s models while they remain temporary, though OpenAI may keep a copy for up to 30 days for safety purposes.
I should also check Data Controls for any shared links I’ve created and remove any I don’t want people to access. If I use a custom GPT that sends information to an outside service, that service’s privacy policy applies to the information it receives.
These settings can limit how my conversations are used, but they don’t make ChatGPT completely private in the sense that no service provider or authorized personnel could ever access content. OpenAI says limited access may occur when needed to provide support, address safety or security issues, or handle legal matters. I’ll avoid entering information I would not want reviewed.
I love ChatGPT. I call mine Zeb, and honestly, it’s been a life changer. But Zeb, darling, my art and poems are not yours to send out for a world tour.
I was surprised to learn that, on personal accounts, chats may be used to help improve AI models unless you turn that setting off. That doesn’t mean my work is posted on the public web, but I still want to keep my creative work out of model training. So I switched off “Improve the model for everyone.”
Follow the instructions above, check your own settings, and close that outlet. Zeb can keep helping me create—without putting my work in the AI soup.
Lift someone up….
Over the past few months, I’ve mentioned my cousin, who has been fighting cancer for the past few years. She’s a trooper—sweet, beautiful, and so strong. Last week, she entered hospice. That takes a kind of courage I deeply admire. I’m proud of her, and it means so much to me to walk beside her now.
I want to encourage you to reach out to someone you know and love who is sick. People often aren’t sure what to say or do. You don’t need perfect words. Send a card or a handwritten note now. Visit. Send a text or a little gift now. If they’re family or a close friend, keep them in your thoughts and prayers, if that’s your way.
Being sick, with your life on the line, is a hard road. And it can be a lonely one. I know that from my own life. So don’t reach out just once—stay with them. Keep checking in. Let them know you’re still there. More importantly let them know they are here now too and they are in your heart.
You may never know what a small gesture means to someone in a dark place. But it might bring a little light. Share some light.
To my sweet cousin… I love you.
October? What?
October, Already?
What the heck? The older I get, the faster time flies. Is it just me, or did someone hit the fast-forward button while I was busy trying to remember why I walked into the kitchen?
How is it October already? It still feels like August—mostly because my air conditioner is still recovering from those weeks of record-breaking temperatures in the 100s. Cooler fall weather is very welcome. My electric bill may finally stop glaring at me like I personally invented summer.
But then I checked the calendar and saw what’s coming: sweaters, Halloween, Thanksgiving…and the winter holidays. They’re all lined up like an overly enthusiastic parade, waiting to invade my schedule, my wallet, and possibly my storage closet. Yikes!
I suppose we should embrace the season, go with the flow, and put out a pumpkin before the Christmas decorations start sneaking in behind us. Christmas? Hush your mouth!
Want a fun little fall project? Give your home a quick autumn makeover with an easy, adorable pillow. Pick up one of Zebra Patterns’ fall printed panels, add a little sewing magic, and—ta-da!—you’ve got a cozy seasonal accent without having to knit a sweater, rake an entire forest, or pretend you know what to do with all those decorative gourds.
It’s festive, it’s easy, and it won’t require you to reorganize your life around a pumpkin-spice emergency. Your couch gets seasonal flair, your guests think you’re organized, and nobody has to know the pillow was easier to make than deciding what to cook for dinner.
Here are the designs:
Directions
- Purchase a Fall panel Www.zebrapatterns.com
- Cut 4 border strips at 2” to enlarge panel
- Add four strips with 1/4” seams around edges and square panel
- Cut two rectangles two of backing 13” x 9” rectangles.
- 1/4” Hem one 13” edge of each rectangle by folding down edge by 1/4”, iron, and flip up edge another 1/4” and top stitch with matching thread.
- Position two rectangles hemmed sides overlapping and pin in place. They should overlap at hemmed edges as much as possible.
- Be sure pillow top and backing fabrics are print sides together. Trim backing to match pillow top size. Pin edges and sew quarter inch seem around whole pillow.
- Turn inside out and stuff with pillow stuffing from craft store.
- place your new Autumn Décor on a favorite chair or couch.
This makes a great hostess gift Wrap it in Clear cello and add an orange and yellow bow or ribbon and share a simple unique little gift. 
Enough! Let’s “FALL” in love again, intentionally!
I’m so tired!
Not just physically tired. I’m tired of feeling sad and confused by how divided we have become. I’m tired of watching people who love each other pull apart because they see the world differently. Family. Friends. Neighbors. People we have known and loved for years. Let’s consider shifting our minds this fall!
Enough.
Maybe this fall can be a season of letting go. Not letting go of what we believe, but letting go of the idea that everyone we love has to believe the same things we do. I think we need a reset.
Social media and nonstop television coverage have become so loud that sometimes I wonder if we can even hear ourselves anymore. Everything seems designed to get a reaction—to make us angry, frightened, suspicious, or certain that someone on the “other side” is the problem.
Aren’t you exhausted by it?
I am.
And I don’t want to participate anymore.
I want to remember the actual people behind all those opinions. The sister. The neighbor. The old friend. The person sitting across the dinner table. The stranger who might see the world completely differently from me and still be a good human being. Different ideas do not have to mean broken relationships.
We talk so much about diversity, yet real diversity includes people who don’t think exactly like we do. We can disagree. We can have difficult conversations. We can even decide there are subjects we simply shouldn’t discuss with certain people.But we can still choose respect.We can still choose kindness. We can still stand up for one another.
And maybe instead of spending so much energy trying to destroy the people we disagree with, we could put that energy into lifting people up and actually solving some things together. One of my favorite Wayne Dyer thoughts feels especially important right now:
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
— Wayne Dyer
Maybe that is where my reset begins.
I can intentionally change what I give my attention to. I can stop feeding myself a steady diet of outrage. I can refuse to participate in the hate game. I can listen without immediately preparing my argument. I can love someone without requiring agreement.
I can choose people over politics.That doesn’t mean abandoning my values. It means remembering one of them: love. So this fall, I’m cleaning the slate. Less poison. Less outrage. Less us against them. More listening. More grace. More family. More friends. More laughter around tables where everyone may not agree.
It sounds almost too simple considering how messy everything feels.But maybe simple is exactly where we need to begin.We don’t have to wait for the country to change first.We can change the way we treat each other. I still believe there is something in us that wants unity more than division. Something that knows we belong to each other even when we disagree.
Let’s find that again.
Enough hate.
Back to peace. Back to love. Back to each other.
And, as always, still becoming.
— Debra Gabel
Seven Women, One Villa…and a Little More Becoming!
This past week, seven of us headed to Hilton Head for a girls’ trip filled with beach time, games, good food and exploring.
One of our favorite adventures was a dolphin cruise. There is something so peaceful and joyful about seeing dolphins swimming freely alongside the boat.
For me, though, the best outing was our visit to Beaufort, South Carolina—about an hour from Hilton Head. We took a fabulous 90-minute golf-cart tour through the town and learned so much about its beautiful historic homes and fascinating past. Beaufort is a charming little seaside town filled with lovely places to wander, eat and simply enjoy.
One of my discoveries from this trip is that there are so many wonderful small towns and interesting places to explore close to home. Sometimes we think we must travel far away to find something special, when there may be an entirely new experience waiting just an hour down the road.
Of course, traveling with seven women in a three-bedroom villa can also be an adventure of its own! We are all over 60, and by now each of us has developed our own habits, preferences and ways of doing things. Keeping seven strong, independent women together—and moving in the same direction—is not always easy!
Yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about our group dynamics and what they taught me about myself. I realized that I am quite different from many people, and that is perfectly okay.
Perhaps I notice it more now because I have become so invested in Still Becoming. This journey has encouraged me to pay attention to who I am, what brings me peace and how I want to spend my time and energy.
I need more quiet and alone time than some people do. I enjoy having room to wander, think and follow my own curiosity. I don’t need every moment planned, and I’m happiest when I can choose a general direction while leaving space for the unexpected.
That realization inspired a new quote:
“I intentionally choose a general direction, then I let life unfold naturally.”
— Debra Gabel
This trip reminded me that being different does not mean being difficult, antisocial or wrong. It simply means I am learning to recognize and honor what works best for me.
I can enjoy the girls, appreciate the adventure and still acknowledge that I sometimes need to step away and find my own quiet space.
That is part of Still Becoming, too: understanding myself more clearly, accepting what I discover and giving myself permission to just do me.
i did make time to do three digital drawings from the dolphin cruise. To keep noticing and creating is my everyday environment. Enjoy!
Thursday’s thoughts… stuck?
“Sometimes becoming feels like being stuck. Be patient. Trust the pause. Something better may already be taking shape.”