I officially give up on my Oleander Tree. We had a good run. Seven years together. SEVEN. I nurtured that thing through storms, hurricanes, droughts, humidity, and my highly questionable gardening methods… only for Coastal North Carolina to finish it off with SIX INCHES OF SNOW!

GREAT for Zone 8 - Easy to GROW..... #@x!!?  Sure!  SNOW! HERE in Leland Near Wilmington. 6" that lasted in under 32 degree temps for a week! For a WEEK!

Apparently Mother Nature woke up and said, “You know what would be funny? Let’s kill Debra’s entire yard.”

Gone:

• my gorgeous oleander
• several camellias
• ornamental grasses that were supposedly “hardy”
• probably my emotional stability

Now let me explain my gardening style. I am what professionals call a “YOYO Gardener.”

As in: YOYO:
You’re On Your Own.

YOYO: I dig the hole. I throw in dirt. I loosen the roots. I cover it up. I water it once while whispering encouraging lies like, “You got this.” Then I walk away forever.

DONE.

And don’t even get me started on these planting zones. “Zone 8b,” they said. “Perfect for these plants,” they said.

LIES!

Because apparently Coastal North Carolina has its own secret bonus level where salt air flies in off the ocean and personally attacks anything living on the edge of survival.

“Oh, you’re thriving?”
HERE’S SOME SALT WIND AND A RANDOM POLAR VORTEX.

So now I’m headed out to buy another Crepe Myrtle because they survive everything. Fire. Drought. Neglect. Emotional abandonment. I already have 7 or 8 of them in the yard, but at this point I’m ready to turn the entire property into a Crepe Myrtle cult compound.

Red Flaming Delta Crepe Myrtle

This is picture they show of fully grown 12 for the Red Delta Flaming Crepe Myrtle suited for Zone 8 and YOYO gardeners. Not only is the flipping tree going to be flaming if it dies this summer! 

If you need me, I’ll be outside apologizing to dead plants while shopping for trees that can survive my YOYO gardening system.